How to Push Past Doubt to Build your Community - My Real Experience

TL;DR

Experiencing doubt and insecurity is a normal part of the community building journey. The key is to, rather than ignore it or giving in to it - learn to challenge it. Take action to move forward and put your idea out there to others so you feel more accountable and less inclined to give up when you feel insecure.

Watch the whole conversation between Federica and Sofia from Swarm on how to Push Past Doubt to Build your Community:

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A little bit about me

I'm Federica, from Italy. My background is in work psychology, and I've worked a little in HR and marketing. Now, I'm a community manager at tech2impact - a community for startups.

I'm entering a new stage of my life where I'm taking what I've learned as a community manager for a professional community to launch own community, focused on menstrual health. My goal is to create a safe space where members can openly share their experience, be vulnerable and feel supported on the fabulous journey of women’s health.

After sitting down with the team at Swarm to share my experience pushing past the fear and doubt that comes from launching something new, I wrote this article that sums up my top three insights. If you prefer to watch the live session, here’s the link to the recording.

Lesson 1: I listen to my doubts instead of pushing them away

Doubt is a normal part of the journey for any community builder. I promise you, we all feel it (even the most successful community builders). Mine has come in a few forms.

First, it made me question whether another community around menstrual health was really necessary. Is it something that will be useful to people and that they’ll be interested in?

And the second, it keeps challenging me: can I actually do it? This question comes up often for me. 

It’s almost too easy to listen to the doubt and let it defeat you. It’s comfortable, almost. But if I listen to it, then I’m giving up before I even try.

Most communities don't fail because they're bad, they fail because they never launch. The barrier is often just getting started.

Something that’s helped me manage this doubt is to talk openly about the community I want to build - to share it with others - friends and even on Linkedin. Saying it publicly makes me feel more accountable, like I’ve made a commitment - and that makes it harder to give up.

And my perspective on it now is that at least I’ll try. The worse that can happen is that it doesn’t work out. And if it doesn’t work out, that’s fine. I’m lowering the bar on the expectations - that makes the journey feel much less intimidating and more enjoyable.

What I don't do is turn my back on the doubt and say, "Go away." For me, that can create the opposite effect, and the doubt comes straight back. Instead, I sit down and listen to it, and to my anxiety in general. I figure out what the doubt actually is, what it’s trying to tell me and then I challenge it.

If the doubt is telling me: “people might not need this”, I challenge it: ok, let’s try, let’s ask some people and see their reaction.

If the doubt is telling me that I can’t do it because I lack the skills, I challenge it again: ok, let’s see if I can find someone to help, or learn it from a book or a YouTube videos. It’s about questioning whether what the doubt is telling you is 100% true.

Lesson 2: Act first, overthink later

Most people get stuck in the thinking phase. I’ve always been more of a “put my hands in the dirt” person. My mindset is to try things out and see what happens. I prefer to take action and learn, rather than get stuck on the ideas.

Right now I'm in the research phase for my menstrual health community, which is market validation. I'm researching which platform to use and whether there's actually a need for this community, because sometimes we have beautiful ideas and in the end nobody needs them. So I'm talking with people: I’ve talked with mentors, with a menstrual health coach, with friends. 

My advice when it comes to this is: act first, think later.

Right now, I encourage you think: what is the one action I can take today to move forward?

Lesson 3: I listen to my members and keep the human touch

One of my biggest learnings from my experience as a Community Manager at tech2impact is to listen to your members. There’s a difference between what you think they value and what they actually value. If you want your community to grow and retain members, you need to focus on what the members value.

It’s happened before when I spent hours working on something and no-one cares about it when it’s live. So I ask for feedback, even if it's negative, and I try to have a one-to-one relationship with members. Don't assume what they want. Ask.

And remember, people are shy. Even if there's a piece of content they really enjoyed, they often don't share, but they'll text me privately to tell me about it. So to engage members, I first create a safe space where it's perfectly fine to be vulnerable. Then the onboarding call matters, because members see who's behind the platform and connect a face. The human touch is important for engagement.

Engagement looks different in every community. For me it's not always likes and comments. It's a reaction, public or private. I once posted something on the community and nobody reacted, and then a week later I got a message saying thank you for the information. I would categorize that as positive feedback that the community is providing value to the members.

When it comes to the use of AI inside online communities, I admit my view isn’t positive. It can be useful for behind-the-scenes processes, but interactions, in my opinion, should stay humans: the calls, replying to members and welcoming them to the community. I can tell when someone wrote something with AI, and I don’t like it. My members will likely feel the same.

Final advice: talk to someone, ask the doubt for facts, and trust yourself

If you're stuck, talk with someone. Try to figure out exactly what's stopping you. Challenge the insecurities and assumptions behind them. For example, if you think you're not good enough, do you have concrete facts to prove that you're not? If you don't, then try. Make a plan, and prove those insecurities wrong.

And trust yourself and your intuition, because most of the time it's right. If it's wrong, everything is fine. We're human. At the end of the day, it will all work out.

Try Swarm for free

Thousands of experts and coaches are already building their communities on Swarm. Try out Swarm free for 14 days. No credit card required.

Frequently asked questions about building an online community

How do you push past fear and doubt when building an online community?

Sit down and listen to your doubts instead of pushing them away, then ask the right questions of them. Work out what each doubt is, challenge it, and take action: talk to mentors, coaches and potential members, and put your idea out there. Pushing the doubt aside can make it come straight back.

How do you deal with imposter syndrome as a community builder?

Talk with someone, then work out exactly what's stopping you. If you think you're not good enough, challenge whether you have facts that you're really not. If you can't 100% prove it, then go ahead and give it a try. Make a plan to prove the doubt wrong, and fill any skills gap by finding someone else to mentor you or learning from a book or a YouTube video.

How do you validate an online community idea before launching?

Research whether there's actually a need, and which platform to use, before you build. Talk with mentors and people close to your audience, such as coaches, and collect leads from people who are interested.

How do you engage members in an online community?

Create a safe space where it's fine to be vulnerable, and keep interactions human rather than delegating to AI. People are often shy and message privately instead of posting, so a one-to-one onboarding call helps members see who's behind the community and connect a face to it.

What does healthy engagement look like in an online community?

It looks different in every community, so find out what engagement means for yours. It isn't always likes and comments. A reaction counts, public or private, such as a member who messages a week later to say thank you for a post. Think about what engagement looks like to your community.