3 lessons from building a quiet (but thriving) community

TL;DR

After two years as a community manager, I’m sharing my top three tips (plus, a bonus) from building an online community.

1. Define what engagement means for you. Comparing member counts and event turnout with other communities leads nowhere. Decide what engagement actually looks like for your community (for me, it’s live events and personal member feedback) and track that instead of dashboard numbers.

2. Use the quiet seasons for planning. Every community has an ebb and flow, and a slow week or month isn’t a verdict on its value. Use the lulls to finish postponed work and plan your next season: themes, 1:1 check-ins, new ways to add value.

3. 10 committed members beat 1,000 passive ones. A smaller community lets you know every member and respond personally. Personal touches like timely recorded videos make it feel human. Build for the members who show up and ask them what they want more of.

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A little about me

Before I became a Head of Community at CEG, I spent more than 10 years designing experiences for people, initially as a UX designer and then in employee experience. Like most community builders—often creators, coaches or experts building online communities around their business—this wasn’t something I was formally trained in. A lot of what I learnt has been on-the-job, which seems to be quite common for community builders.

Almost two years in, I’ve learned so much about what it’s actually like, in practice, to build and manage an online community. I want to share that with you, in the hopes that it will help your own journey. Here are my top 3 lessons and how you can apply them.

#1: Define what engagement means for your community

Comparison is a trap we’re all guilty of falling into. Comparing what engagement looks like in other communities, how many members they have, how many people comment and like posts. 

When I started, I was constantly comparing my community to others I’m a part of. I used to see how many people would attend their events and think,“How can I get that kind of attendance at our events?”. Then I’d look at how many members they have: often in the hundreds if not thousands, while our community had a little over 100 members. I used to think that when five or six people showed up to an event I hosted it was small, but actually, you need to look at the context. I’ve seen communities with over a thousand members who have maybe twenty people attend a live event.

It’s easy to fall into the comparison game, but it does nothing helpful except send your mind into a spiral of insecurity. 

Something useful that’s helped me break out of that cycle has been to understand what engagement means to my community and focusing on tracking that, rather than the numbers that the dashboard gives you.

Engagement doesn’t look the same everywhere. Maybe for some it’s about quantity, like a busy feed of updates. For the community I’m currently shaping, it’s more about the quality of interactions in our live events and the feedback members personally give to each other and myself. 

Try this: Finish this sentence: "In our community, engagement means ___."

#2: Use the quiet seasons for planning

Another myth I believed in as a newbie community builder was that if my community wasn’t always active, something was wrong. It even happened recently. Summer was a quiet period, I’m assuming because many of CEG’s community members were on holiday or were spending time with their kids at home. They all have other priorities in their lives, but that doesn’t mean the community stops being valuable to them.

I used to interpret these quiet periods as something negative that I had to fix. Now I’ve realized that they’re just a normal part of the community’s cycle. I’d be surprised if any community out there was busy all the time.

“Quote (embed): I've learned there are different ways to show up, and it's okay to show up in different ways, in different modalities and different seasons. Some people have a lot going on in their life and can't join, because of work or other personal things, and that's totally okay.”

I’ve learned to appreciate these quieter moments by using them as opportunities to finish other pieces of work I’ve been postponing. This Summer allowed me to finally finish a strategy document I’ve been developing for months.

The lesson I took away from this is that every community has an ebb and flow, just like our everyday lives. 

Try this: Next time things go quiet, use that time to plan your next season. Think about new themes, members you want to check in 1:1 with or haven’t heard from for a while, and new ways you want to explore to bring value to your community.

#3: 10 committed members beats 1000 passive ones

Quality beats quantity any time. Do one thousand members really matter if they don’t even log in to check what’s going on inside the community?

A big member count can feel good, but a group of committed members that actually show up is what will make your community feel alive. Don’t get hung up on the numbers, focus on building the connection instead.

There’s also a real advantage to keeping your community smaller. Change Enthusiasm Global has a little over 100 members, which is still manageable by myself. I know every member, I respond to comments personally, and I read what people share. I believe all these touchpoints should have a very human touch but that wouldn’t be possible in a community of thousands of members.

Another way to make the community feel connected and personal is to record a personalised welcome message for new members. When you see and hear a community leader saying hi, you can appreciate that they didn’t use AI to send you an automated welcome message. It’s a real human who cares about you, who took the time to learn about you and your interests, and records a short message to welcome you into the community. 

"I love the idea of recorded videos. It's something I've been wanting to do more of. I've done more videos for news and updates rather than personal welcome messages, but I like that idea very much, so it's something I want to work on as well."

Try this: Build for members who show up. Ask your most active members what they want more of, check in 1:1 with them, and plan the next month of community activity around those answers.

My final piece of advice for your community-building journey

If I had to add anything to what I’ve shared, it’s that the most important thing when someone joins your community is to offer them value straight away. Creating an onboarding experience for new members is fundamental, but showing them that they made the right choice to join is even more relevant. 

Give them something tangible. Maybe it’s a free guide or a recommended connection to another member with shared interests or in the same geographical location. If your community is about support, show them right away where they can ask for help. If it’s about learning, show them the next thing they can learn. 

As a community leader, you’re the initial bridge between what members need and what exists in the community.

Ask yourself this question: What is the immediate value I can provide? If they get something straight away, it increases the chances of them actually participating, checking in and being present in your community.

Try Swarm for free

Thousands of experts and coaches are already building their communities on Swarm. Try out Swarm free for 14 days. No credit card required.